I puked a lego.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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