so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
