I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
