I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
