Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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