I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
