I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
