There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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