I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
