I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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