Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
