I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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