My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
