Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
