your room smells of hookers.
And success
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
