dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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