Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Randomize
