oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Your cock deserves a montage
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
