so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
