Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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