Im at strip club and am horny
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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