I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
