Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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