it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
