apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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