We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have fence marks all over my body
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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