if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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