Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
