at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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