I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
