Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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