I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize