what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
