I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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