i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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