You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
