Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
