omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
