how can u be prego again
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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