I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
