READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
