Nicole vs. Life
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
my nose is crying tears of wow.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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