I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You smell like stripper and shame
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
