there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
