Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize