at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
