Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
