I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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