I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize