i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
