he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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