It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
