But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
