Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
