The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
