You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
