I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
