You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
this just has baby written all over it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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