I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
