dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
