I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
