remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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